A classic.
So, we've all heard of Dracula. Haven't we? Yes... Of course. Vampire of all vampires. Swoops about pretending to be a bat. That guy.
I decided 2016 was to be my selfish year. The year where I try my hardest to do what is best for me.
Not what I think other people want to do.
Not what they want me to do.
Not what I think I should be doing.
The things that are actually good for me.
I decided to take a break from blogging. I had been struggling with it and I found I couldn't think of much to I write about. Instead I would focus on making myself better, happier, healthier. To be less stressed and more positive was and is what is important.
I am a worrier and a bit of a stress head. And quite frankly it isn't good for me.
So the only thing I want to do in 2016 is work towards being a less stressed human. No goals. No specific things to achieve. Just that whatever I do, should be related to that theme.
The reason for not setting hard and fast targets and goals is that they are (for me at least) easy to miss. Easy to fail at. Which makes it very easy to jack the whole thing in and go back to how things were.
So in January I focused on having a good time. On enjoying myself and making the most of my time off. I had planned well for this as I had a weekend break and a week off to look forward to and frankly I think it spoiled me. Nothing like starting high but it's hard to keep up that level of awesomeness when you have other life commitments and a limited budget!
In February, I decided to take physical action regarding what was best for myself and try to resolve on longstanding skin condition around my eyes. It started out looking promising with a referral to a belpharitis specialist. However, two weeks of trailing a new eye care regime (which involved a rather expensive bottle of lotion) I was told it didn't seem to be belpharitis after all. Now I have to make an appointment to see my GP to try and get another diagnosis and a referral to see a dermatologist. All the while I get to have dry, flaky, scaly red skin around my eyes. Attractive.
March saw me hit a bit of a set back. At the end of February I started with a cough. And by the first of March I was off work sick. Several trips to the doctor gained no advantage except an interesting morning out to the hospital for a chest X-ray. Again, no result. Just a rotten old cough. I maintain that I think it is whooping cough but by the time I had a sample check it had been over three weeks which is apparently when the infection would have cleared up anyway. I was still coughing a bit but got myself back at the administrative coal face. While I was off work I did manage to sort through some clutter but nothing nothing like the amount I could've done had I not been so shattered, never mind.
April though is where things started to look up for me again. I started a second job, one day a week at a bakers as a trainee. Even though it's only the one day, it has been a real confidence boost for me. I've learned some new skills and have shown myself that I can do new things and take on new challenges without totally collapsing and failing.
An old friend of mine got married enough and was so kind, and generous in inviting myself and the boy along to the wedding. Seeing her and her new husband so happy was one of the most heart-warming things I think I've ever seen. Not only that, but it was such a well planned, beautiful day. No fuss (at least that I could see). No stress and worry. Just happy people having a good time. Just how life should be.
And... In a very abrupt turn of events... I'm buying a house. Well, to put it more accurately, we're buying a house. Me and the boy, together. Oo scary. I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm sure he won't mind too much me saying I don't think he does either. It's very much a make it up as we go along thing and hope for the best. We have in no way got the keys yet but it's looking pretty positive. Things seem to be moving in the right direction at least.
Now May is nearly over too and still have so much swimming around in my head. So much I want to do. So much that I feel like I could change or do better but I feel positive that I'm doing well with 2016 so far. I just have to keep going and try to build on these foundations.
I hope to see you soon,
Charlotte
I failed. Twice.
I was so excited to start #BEDN because I had been finding it hard to blog. I just haven't been able to muster up the energy or inspiration to put fingers to keyboard and write something. So the idea that the topics were already set out for me really appealed. That has been half the battle for me and someone else has done it for me.
I also liked the challenge element. Sure, I've been struggling to actually get on and write things but the idea that is is a challenge was a big motivator for me. And for the first week or so, I did it. I sat down and I wrote. I enjoyed it.
And then, I got poorly.
I had been fighting of this horrible cold that had been going around the office for over a month. I wasn't going to be I'll. I didn't have time. I was busy. So busy. And I kept going and going and then I crashed. I couldn't go to work let alone write a blog post. And I got behind. First I missed a day. Then two. Then three or four, I can't remember. I failed.
One of my favourite things I have ever heard about success and habits and achievement is 'Fail Small, Not Big'. What this means is if you are trying to achieve something, like trying to blog every day or going for a swim every week or anything else and you mess up... You don't just give up. You say, 'hey, so I missed a blog/day/week etc, that's okay, I'll just carry on from here'. The idea bring that having a small hiccup is better than totally quitting altogether.
So that is what I did. I picked myself up and I got back in track. I caught up. I did all the blog topics j missed and the current ones. And it felt good. So that was Failure number one. Just a small one.
Failure number 2 came later. Other things happened. My brain was full. I couldn't think. I couldn't process. I couldn't focus. And I couldn't write. This was failure number 2. A failure of two halves.
At first, I felt like a failure because I had been unable to complete something I had committed myself to doing. But then, I slowly decided to embrace my failure. And I embraced it as my choice. In direct contrast to my earlier point I made the choice to not start again. There is a lot of stuff going on in my head right now, and having a mandatory blog to write is just not a priority. It is not good for me. So I decided to fail big. I chose to fail for my own mental wellbeing and in that way, I feel I have won.
I would definitely do this again, and I would like to make it through the whole month. I would try to be more prepared though if I did attempt it again. I would try to write in advance and to be less tough on myself.
Last year I did Blogmas, which I won't be attempting this year in light of my #BEDN shenanigans. But I will be doing a few posts here and there if and when inspiration and frame of mind strike.
Thank you if you read this.
Love Charlotte x
I haven't really travelled.
I've been to Disneyland Paris when I was younger and Austria on a school ski trip but other than that I have only been on UK holidays. I've been to lots of places in the UK but by no means have I been everywhere. Not even close.
I am in the position that next year I might be able to go on a holiday with The Boy, here are my current suggestions.
So even there I've picked three 'local' trips.
The thing is, is because I've never done it, I don't know what to expect. It feels overwhelming. I don't know how to book a flight or a ferry or n international train ticket. I'm not confident finding places here, let alone a hotel in another country. I'm terrible at languages. What are you allowed to pack? I'm terrible at packing light, no matter how hard I try.
I'm sure it's not actually that hard. Google translate will surely be a big help right?
Maybe I should start with a package holiday?
I don't know.
I have a friend at work who is always looking for good deals on flights and hotels and does it all herself but I wouldn't know where to begin!
I see all the adverts for last minute deals and flights and so on but I just can't get to grips with it all.
Dear world of people who know what they are doing, please help!
What is the best thing to do? What are your top tips?
I'm sure The Boy would look after me, I just need to commit to a destination and go for it!
Love Charlotte x
Beauty... Is in the eye of the beholder.
Beauty... Is skin deep.
Beauty... Comes from within.
Beauty... And The Beast.
I am not into beauty.
I don't wear make up. Not on a day to day basis. Not for most events either. Maybe twice a year.
I don't do my hair.
I'm not even very good at moisturisers and perfumes and things like that.
I am very low maintence in this way.
I obviously wash my hair with shampoo and conditioner. Sometimes they are even a matching pair!
I really enjoy a good face wash, but only with warm water and a face cloth.
Every now and then, I crack a lush face mask out but this isn't a frequent occurrence.
The closest thing I have to a regular 'beauty routine' is the I have to regularly wash the skin around my eyes with warm water and baby shampoo due to some eczema type thing I have going on.
I like the idea of looking after myself and not having to look like a tired wreck all the time but I just can't do it.
Love Charlotte x