Thinning out my life
I have too much.
Too many thing. Too many thoughts. Too much access to information and content and entertainment.
Although I would say I am an intelligent woman, I am also a bear of very little brain space and I honestly feel that I have filled it to capacity. I have hit the ripe old age of 28 and I have room for no more. There's no mental space left to process things which means that when problems arise I fly into a panic and cry rather than rationally sorting it out logically. This is turn makes me tired. So I go to sleep earlier. Which is great except then I run out of room in my day for all the content I crave. (Or that I have become accustomed to and feel I need to take in). As you might guess from my flying into a panic comment, I am an anxious person and even an unwatched video on my YouTube subscriptions gives me a feeling of not completing something, of missing a mark or a target. Oh yeah... that's not healthy. And finally physical space. I am in the very exciting position of being mid-renovation on a house that I have bought with my lovely Boy. That sounds wonderful. All that space. But what do I do with the 28 years worth of clutter and crap I've collected in the meantime. (Ps. I really enjoyed that alliteration there, did you?) I don't just want to transfer it ALL to a new space and plus, the Boy's got to have some room for his bits and bobs too. I am a bit of a hoarder and feel guilt at getting rid of things. So my brain is full, my space is full and my time is full. Enough is enough. Time to thin out.
Step one: The brain.
I am sure once the house stuff gets sorted that will free up some room in my own personal head-hard drive but until then, stuff is getting delegated. In particular to my phone. Lists and reminders have become my go to coping device. Daily tasks at work pop up on recurring reminders. The shopping list is continually added to and ticked off in a never ending stream of not trying to remember what I've run out of. A spreadsheet for presents and events that require gift purchases. Yes. Yes I have one of those too. It hasn't solved all my problems but at least it's taken some pressure off my remains megabits of memory.
Step 2: My time.
So earlier this year I took the plunge and reduced my hours down to four days a week. And about a month after I did that I took on a one day part-time job at a bakers. This lasted a few months and then they wound down over the summer telling me they normally picked up again in the autumn and that they'd give me a call. During that time I bought a house and found my additional day off to be very helpful in a)getting stuff done and b) giving the aforementioned brain a break from all my work-related stresses. I found myself worrying about how I would cope once I went back to my second job. So with a heavy heart, but a brace decision for me I chose to quit. I felt guilty and like I was causing them difficulties but I had to do what was right for me. My time is precious and I can't fit everything I want to into it. Sometimes something has to give.
I have actively unsubscribed from various things across various social media. I figure less stuff coming my way with the potential to eat into my time has got to be a good thing. I am considering making a timetable of regular subscriptions like my podcasts so I know what is coming each day and where I am at with keeping up to date. It's a little thing, you might think it sounds like a daft thing, but it's a thing to help me stay in control.
Recently, with everything going on, I've turned down friends, great friends who I don't see enough because I haven't been able to cope with the idea of another thing, of losing the time for jobs and tasks and worrying. I am lucky that I have the most wonderful friends who understand and only send love and offers of help rather than get annoyed but this isn't how I want to live my life so I need to sort out some time management too.
Step 3: All. The. Stuff.
This is by far the biggest thing. Of course when I move I will have more than one room to fill with stuff but I truly don't want to move from one crowded space to another so I need to declutter and I need to start now. Things to tackle are:
* Clothes
* Shoes
* Bags
* Books
* DVDs
* Craft supplies
* Ornaments
* Keepsakes and memory stuff
* Paperwork
* Notebooks (I have so many notebooks!)
* Childhood toys
* Probably a ton of other stuff.
I never meant to leave my blog in 2016 and I wish I hadn't because I've done some amazing things that I wished I had blogged about. I'll have to see if I can't do a 'round-up' post to catch up. The thing is though, as well as all the fun stuff, this year has been a challenge and trying to blog in it just wasn't a good idea for me. But I know my little Internet corner will be there for me to whitter on in if I need it.
If you have read this far, or any of it at all, thank you.
I hope to see you soon
Love Charlotte x
